One can only eat so many cookies

I don’t have children. I never had to wait in line to storm a 1994 wal-mart on Black Friday. I am not hosting this year. By all measures, I’m in for a peaceful holiday.

BUT I’m already feeling itchy about social gatherings, work events, and crimbo shopping. The hustle and bustle of holiday preparations can lead to burnout. I need a low calorie lever to cool off when it becomes too much.

Enter the extravagant Christmas shower.

It’s how I replenish and recharge without losing any festive momentum. The whole routine takes about an hour, about the length of time it takes to forget my mom’s problematic opinions on Megan Markle.

Anyways, you read it here: Solo festive moments are as important as gatherings.

Set the mood:

• Dim the lights, find a holiday jazz playlist on Spotify, light up this white chocolate peppermint bathroom candle from TJ Maxx.
  
• Get into your dry brush routine to warm up
  

Warm Up with a Festive Shower Steam:

• Lush bath bomb Christmas collection for those of you that are bathbatically blessed (ok.)
• For the shower stuck, drop a milliliter of peppermint essential oil and make it work double duty for your sinuses
• Breaaaattthheeee it in. This is your Ben Affleck cigarette moment.

Choose cookie soap:

• Start with sugar and exfoliate your negativity. Try this one if you went too hard on presents.
• L'Occitane almond shower oil is a classic for a reason. It transforms into a soft, milky foam that cleanses and leaves you with sugar cookie bod.
  

Wash your hair with whatever “business as usual” means to you. T-Gel gives me a special holiday tingle at this time of year.

Also, shave.

Get out and slick up like a rockette:

• Family-sized bottle of Gold Bond lotion because we don’t play games with winter dryness
• Almond oil for a slick cookie finish
• Laniege gingerbread lip mask, trust me
• A spritz of Vetvier 46, whose wicked spiciness makes me feel like a sexy grinch

Wrap Up in a Cozy Towel or Robe

• This Kashwere robe in Syrah is like getting a holiday hug from Oprah Winfrey herself

Replenish. Wander to the kitchen for a festive drink because you’re ready to re-integrate. Peppermint tea or a coffeemate eggnog with a splash of Knob Creek. Nothing in between!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, YA FILTHY ANIMAL